In a bowl, mix 1 can Slim-fast and one can TRIMSPA. Pour into medium saucepan. Heat to simmer. Sprinkle with Miracle 2000. Stir in 1 cup yogurt. Season with a splash of French’s Worcestershire Sauce and two squirts of spray butter.
Blend 2 tablespoons each of Xanax, Provigil, and Vicodin. Add to mixture.
Remove from heat and allow to cool.
Sprinkle with powdered sugar, garnish with sprig of parsley, alert nurse to stand by, draw into syringe, and serve.
Affix methadone bottles to side of hat. Connect flexible straws from bottles to mouth. Insert straws into mouth and suck madly.