Angelina Jolie stuns the world

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By Mark Ramsey | 2007/03/03

angie.jpgAngelina Jolie is expanding her brood, and finally, notes E!, her intentions are clear:

“I aim to build an independent army of Southeast Asian and African freedom-fighters, one child at a time,” said Jolie to a stunned press corp.

“Under my command, we will take over America and finish the War on Christmas once and for all.”

“We will put Rush Limbaugh’s marshmallow head on a stick, sandwiched between two graham crackers and roast it over hundreds of burning cutout copies of Beyond Borders.”

“I’m coming for you, America! Just as I came for Billy Bob Thornton!”

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“This is where we would kiss if I was attracted to girls”