What do you do when e-mail is rapidly stealing your bread-and-butter business and you want to push through a rate increase anyway? You invoke the Force, of course!

And, along the way, write a check to George Lucas, you will! Or, as the Feds put it, “help me creator of Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!”

The USPS couldn’t be more excited about its new series of more-expensive-than-ever Star Wars postage stamps.because if you need to send a package to Tatooine and it absolutely, positively doesn’t need to be there for five to seven days, if at all, by all means use the Post Office.

In a related announcement, Postal employees will now be issued light sabers. So from now on any disgruntled employee who “goes postal” will, instead of shooting up a branch, simply challenge you to a duel.

Said Postmaster General John Potter: “Know there is a duel going on you will when open only one window is.”