Keith Richards really knows how to say “I Love You”

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By Mark Ramsey | 2007/04/05

richards.jpgPromotion for the upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean movie will evidently be Keith Richards-free.

The Disney folks reportedly uninvited Richards from the publicity effort after Keith said he snorted his dead dad’s ashes.

“I don’t know what the big deal is,” slurred Keith. “I’ve also snorted my own ashes and I haven’t been dead nearly as long as my dad.”

Although Keith maintains this was just a joke, it has rapidly caught fire in trend-conscious Hollywood.

Said Nicole Richie, “My dad’s not dead yet, but I’ve been getting high on the rest of the Commodores since I threw up my last carrot stick – they go down easy, like a Sunday morning.”

In unrelated news, Keith Richards’ publicist announced that upon wrapping Pirates, Keith’s poison-laced corpse will be buried 10 miles underground Yucca mountain, Nevada, in a radiation-proof bunker.

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“This is where we would kiss if I was attracted to girls”