Director Ang Lee says he’s socially awkward.

That explains a lot.

See, I met Ang once.

And we just stared at each other.

So I’m socially awkward, too, and nothing inspires awkwardness like two awkward people being awkward together. It’s like an awkward black hole, sucking in all the charisma in a room until there’s nothing left but hundreds of people standing together wishing they were there separately – and Russell Crowe, whom you generally wish were there separately.

“Congratulations on The Hulk,” I think I said to him. When what I meant to say was “Are you out of your ever-lovin’ mind?”

“Thank you,” he replied, knowing that the level of fakery and falsehood between us was so thick you could cut it with a Crouching Tiger sword.