The Heartbreak Kid

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By Mark Ramsey | 2007/10/10

heartbreak_stiller.jpgIt’s 8pm on a school night.

And high atop the Hollywood Hills it’s time for Bobby and Peter Farrelly to brush their teeth, change into their Garanimals, and climb into their bunk beds, where they sing themselves to sleep with this lullaby (to the tune of My Favorite Things from Sound of Music).

Hush, listen. And you can just make out the lyrics:

Grosses suck wind for our new flick Heartbreak Kid

We think it’s the spa where Jerry Stiller’s naked

Zippers that slice off a dong with one zing

These are a few of our favorite things

Bowling and fat suits and Matt’s a conjoined twin

If concept is high then the story is tres thin

Dumb and Dumber and still Dumberer flings

These are a few of our favorite things

Schizophrenics!

Quadriplegics!

We’ve got roles for you!

If you’re disabled and you have a SAG card

That’s how you won’t feel…so blue!

Ben Stiller’s got the lead role tied in a bow

But Britney Spears proves you will reap what you sow

Dad Jerry’s hair dyed the color of Mars

These are a few of our favorite bars

Guac through the nose and a third-degree burning

Watch it and laugh if your stomach stops turning

Where there’s a body with fluids to spring

These are a few of our favorite things

When reviews sting

When red ink flows

When we’re feeling sad

We simply remember the spooge in her hair

And then we won’t feel…so bad!

Send your hate mail here

More about this movie at AskMen.com

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“This is where we would kiss if I was attracted to girls”