“Who needs a shirt when you can iron your chest hair!”
“OK…so I’m not Tiger. But at least I use condoms.”
Eww, eww, eww; get away from me! you look masculine and have some color in your cheeks; you’re not my type AT ALL
Know where I can get some True Blood?
oh…you’re a dude too……..
“Before you kiss me, try this dog breath remedy”
Why?? WHY won’t you attempt suicide for ME???
Bella: Wait one second Jacob, I can smell Edward from here. Dude needs to take a shower or something.
“Heh, you do look like those zombies in I am Legend.”
I’m sorry you got hurt, Bella, but seriously – I can’t keep *these* guns holstered.
Why yes, I do obsessively go to the gym and hate on Vampires
Bella : “Jacob, you can’t go without a shirt ! You should have told me about, I have enough money for two.”
Bella, the tide is coming in and I can’t wet. Remember the
witch in the Wizard of Oz. We must leave.
But…but I thought we were here to dig some clams.
What? Wet kiss? And I didn’t even use my tongue!
Are you the corpse of Brittany Murphy?
Don’t be scared, Bella! I’m far too non-heterosexual to ever try to touch you. I mean, I listen to freaking Earth, Wind, and Fire!
If you lie down with dogs, you will get up with sand in your underwear
No, no. It looks good. Are you using your retainer at night?
Yes. Umm… I’m sure it does taste just like chicken but I’m not into “Moon Men” or whatever you call yourself in this dustheap, wherever it is, and I really, really do not want to know what kind of dance the Moon Crabs do here…
You’d look this surly too if your clothes were all wet, you had sand in your hair and your sparkling boyfriend disappeared for weeks at a time.
This romance is definitely “on the rocks”!
“Bella, promise me you won’t look at me or Edward directly in the eyes for the rest of the movie.”
Jacob couldn’t help but realize he’d wrestled stronger angels…
“This is where we would kiss if I was attracted to girls”
David Hernandez Reply:April 6th, 2010 at 10:06 am
XD can’t stop laughing
now just put that hand a little closer to my pants,
I’m muscular, my boobs are bigger than yours and my nipples could cut glass right now. Why don’t you like me?
CHRIST! let me reach into my pocket and get you some gum!
Do these shorts make me look gay?
Yes, you actually got the Joan Jett role. I’m as surprised as you.
“I’m a sucker for a guy wearing cherry red lipstick and dark eyeliners…”
Um, is that Axe?
kristen stewart and taylor lautner begin filming “from here to obscurity.”
Jacob: Thank you for jumping into the water! I was running out of reasons for taking off my shirt!
I’ll tell your son you loved him. By the way he’s pretty hot.
Bitch, MAKE ME A SANDWHICH!
Wait! Stop!! My last boyfriend glitters when we do this, What do you do?
Jacob: “your penis is bigger than mine…!”
“Your hair…..it’s so…..smooth, so free of split ends. What kind of conditioner do you use? Redken?”
do you realize this movie is the best one we will be involved in? life sucks
“Sharkboy? How’d you get in this movie? Oh well. Let’s make out!”
HA! Left hand Blue! I win! I just love Twister, don’t you?
” Your a keeper” ” That is to say that you are a lot bigger than the one I had to through back yesterday” ” By the way ” “whats up with the no tails?” ” I was told you Guy`s had tails?
Couldn’t we just have gone to Hyde Park… the gravel’s really uncomfortable….
…something about dead girl camel toe? Dammit, this joke is not going to write itself.
“What’s that smell? It smells like low tide. Did you forget to wash under your arms again?”
So then I attended the Disney School of Acting and…….I love you…suurprrise–ACTING!!!
TEAMWORK: let our powers combine…earth! fire! wind!water!…heart! GO PLANET!
Bella : something smells like wet dog….. my bad its me.
Bella; OH GAWd… I got gravel up my asscrack.
Jacob: There is something I need to tell you, remember that puppy that followed you home and you had nurtured….
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