A Danny DeVito scale figure, and how!
I’m no top shelf at all, but a bit of a bore
More like the Suess that was stuck in a drawer
I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees
I’m a creature whose hair is like Wilford Brimley’s
“But the trees have no tongue, and neither should you…”
Unless Liberty Medical buys it, that’s true!
So what better way to proclaim our green days
than for your humble Lorax to nag at your ways
You people buy water, when it’s really quite free…
and 5 dollar popcorn at IMAX for me!
So plant trees, I’m saying, and don’t cut them down!
Or you’ll slup and you’ll grunt and make Humming-fish frown
Embrace nature, you see, but I don’t mean to nag
as your kids eat soft pretzels from a hot plastic bag
Take care of our planet from the day you are born
And add grickly butter-like slop on popcorn
Do not buy the air when the air should be free
But slather your nachos with goop colored like me
Our resources are scarce, so preserve them you see
and drive away home in your big SUV
I’d preach at you more, but the film’s almost done
So get out of our IMAX, and make room for someone!
For the planet is really quite less our concern
Than the number of dollars Universal will earn
I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees
And if money will grow on them, that’s the bee’s knees
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Lol, nice.
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Mark Ramsey Reply:
March 4th, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Ha, thanks!
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katie ballantine Reply:
March 10th, 2012 at 3:10 am
hahaha lol funny shit these days
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Mark Ramsey Reply:
March 11th, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Hey watch your language, Katie, this is a family picture!
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This review was painfully dull, and redundant I say,
But I just couldn’t bring myself to wander away,
I assume that’s the point you were hoping to convey,
So well done my fine chap, and I bid thee good day.
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Mark Ramsey Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 5:12 am
Well your beats need a little more practice, I’d say. And if you want “redundant” go spend 90 minutes with The Lorax.
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Adam Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 7:12 am
I [mostly] like what you’ve done here. It made me smile, but if you’re going to imitate Dr. Seuss, at least make sure that the very first line scans OK. You have an extra syllable in there any way you slice it, and it casts a shadow.
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Mark Ramsey Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 10:56 am
Hmm. I think you need my audiobook version, Adam. Because the way I read it it reads just fine!
But thanks for the close attention and the note!
This is brilliant. Although, now I wish more movies merited a whimsical review such as this.
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Mark Ramsey Reply:
March 6th, 2012 at 5:05 am
Well I have been called many things but “whimsical” is not one of them.
Thanks for the comment!
PS I was wondering who owned the domain “youdontneedmyemail” and now I know!
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Nice review. And kinda deep, too!
And you made “bore” rhyme with “drawer”.
I’m not sure, but that might be a first.
Some people said it couldn’t be done and far more said it shouldn’t.
But you proved them… err… wrong…? I’m not sure.
Congrats, anyway!
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Mark Ramsey Reply:
March 6th, 2012 at 1:35 pm
I’m trying to decide if your comment rhymes or not. Thanks Tom!
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You’re genius is rare,
And your words are so neat.
If this all continues,
We are in for a treat.
Thanks Mark for all these amazing review. I don’t think the world knows how lucks we are.
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Mark Ramsey Reply:
March 11th, 2012 at 12:40 pm
If I were to write them all this way I fear they’d get boring fast.
Well, even faster than usual.
Thanks for the kind words and the Seuss-rhyme!
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I didn’t like the movie but plese don’t write in poetry..its hard to understand
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Mark Ramsey Reply:
March 14th, 2012 at 5:49 am
Yes, it’s too hard for adults to understand. That’s why Seuss’s books are made for children.
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Mark, thanks for the poetic contribution. I just saw another inspired poem along the same lines, knocking the Lorax-Mazda partnership:
http://www.fittingroup.com/blog/advertising/the-lorax-endorses-what
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Mark Ramsey Reply:
March 21st, 2012 at 10:51 am
Great minds think like Dr. Seuss…..
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Blah blah blah – I can’t hear you over all that shouting.
Your tone is as “nuanced” as Joss’s overbearing CG and undercooked plot.
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This rant made me laugh
So here’s what’s on my mind
I think that this is funny
What an interesting find
The cleverness of your rhymes
And the sarcasm too
Portray this film perfectly
So I tip my hat off to you
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Mark Ramsey Reply:
May 28th, 2012 at 10:44 am
I approve! Nicely done!
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